
Partners may feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about their situation with others or invite friends over for fear of what their partner might say or do while under the influence. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation that can be difficult to overcome. You may feel like you’re the only one going through this, but you’re not alone. It’s estimated that approximately 15 million people in the United States struggle with alcoholism, and their loved ones are affected too. When thinking about leaving an alcoholic boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, a person may decide to give things one last chance and try to get help for an alcoholic.
- While it’s possible for someone with an addiction to recover, the decision to change must come from within them.
- At this point, alcohol takes a more significant toll on daily life, relationships, and mental well-being.
- Resources like Al-Anon and private counseling can provide the support and guidance needed to make informed decisions.
- So long as you stay with your alcoholic spouse, you’ll be sharing the responsibility for those bad decisions.
- Some couples find that they’re able to make changes to their drinking habits that allow them to continue drinking in moderation while still supporting their partner’s sobriety.
- By this point, attempting to cut down or stop drinking becomes increasingly difficult without professional help.
- Deciding to leave is hard, especially considering all the things you’ve likely been through with your spouse.
Emotional turmoil

Seeing you drinking can also make it difficult for your partner to give up alcohol. They may tell themselves that if you are drinking, it is okay for them to drink, too. Furthermore, your partner may feel that you do not support their recovery if you continue to drink. When one partner is struggling with addiction, it can be difficult for them to communicate effectively and honestly about their feelings and needs. This can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and feelings of resentment. Encourage your partner to seek treatment if they’re ready, but also recognize that their journey is their own and they may need space or time before they’re ready to make changes.
- Personal safety and that of children must be a priority in decision making.
- Let’s outline the key stages of alcoholism, highlighting the behavioural, emotional, and physical impacts that occur throughout.
- It’snatural for those who plan to break up with an alcoholic to hold off on ending things becausethey want to protect both themselves and the person they’re in a relationship with.
- It’s important to trust your instincts and prioritize your own well-being, while also being compassionate and supportive of your partner’s recovery if they are willing to seek help.
- The physical symptoms of withdrawal will be past their worst for most people, and the benefits of quitting alcohol will start to be noticeable.
- Leaving an alcoholic partner can be emotionally challenging but necessary for personal well-being.
What It’s Like to Be In A Relationship With An Alcoholic

Individuals may avoid social interactions or withdraw from previously close relationships, fearing judgement or confrontation about their alcohol use. Over time, the brain compensates for this disruption by increasing the production of excitatory neurotransmitters like glutamate and reducing inhibitory neurotransmitters like GABA. This chemical imbalance can result in heightened tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, and a stronger compulsion to drink, as the brain relies on alcohol to maintain its altered state of function. Middle-stage alcoholism significantly impacts brain chemistry, leading to noticeable behavioral and physiological changes.

The impact on partner’s mental health
- In this guide, we’ll explore the key considerations, from recognizing the signs of alcoholism to planning a safe exit and finding support post-breakup.
- The turning point came after yet another broken promise and a particularly frightening episode that left me questioning not just our future, but our safety.
- The decision to change must come from within the individual, and it is not something that can be forced upon them, no matter how much you love them.
- Non-physical symptoms, like cravings and desire for the comfort alcohol provides, may become more noticeable as the distraction of physical symptoms subsides.
- Partners may feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about their situation with others or invite friends over for fear of what their partner might say or do while under the influence.
If family members try to “help” by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into their loved one’s denial game. Keep in mind that someone with alcohol when should you leave an alcoholic dependence usually goes through a few stages before they are ready to make a change. Research suggests that it often takes two to five attempts for a person to successfully quit. Until they begin to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to “help” them quit will often be met with resistance. For those who love someone living with an addiction, it is very difficult to sit back and let the crisis play out to its fullest extent.

- You may find it helpful to seek support from a therapist, a support group, or friends and family members who understand what you’re going through.
- By Buddy TBuddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism.
- It can be emotionally painful to watch someone you love fall victim to alcohol abuse, and you may live with constant stress and worry about their health and well-being.
- Your partner’s addiction is their own, and they are ultimately responsible for their own recovery.
While it can be a difficult decision, this guide will explore the challenging journey of dating and possibly leaving an alcoholic and the signs that it’s time to walk Substance abuse away. Alcoholism is often described as a progressive disorder, meaning it develops and worsens over time that’s why counsellors often refer to stages of alcoholism to choose the best treatment plan. You may have many fears holding you back from leaving an alcoholic spouse. Your alcoholic husband or wife could be supporting your family financially. You may worry about where you’ll live, their reaction to the news that you’re leaving or that they won’t be able to survive well without you.
Your Children Are Being Affected
Using alcohol frequently or consistently increases your blood pressure, leading to an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. Alcohol causes you to produce excessive amounts of urine, leading to dehydration. If you’ve been drinking for a while, you will probably be surprised by how much being sufficiently hydrated improves your health. Chronic dehydration can affect how you feel, how your skin looks, your hair quality and your overall well-being. The effects of being well-hydrated will continue to build, having more positive results as you continue sobriety.

Ordering a drink upon arrival to your destination might feel like an icebreaker or a way to ease yourself into a social situation, and it often happens out of habit. By setting a goal to wait 30 minutes before you order your first glass of rosé, you can learn to tolerate any discomfort—and discover that you don’t need the alcohol in the first place. But, it might also come with seemingly some discomfort or disappointment from friends. Those moments can be thought of as a “them thing, and less of a you thing,” says Shani Gardner, LCSW, a therapist at Soulful Grace Therapy.
